we're blogging at a bar
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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