When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
