Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
