So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize