Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
