How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dignity is for republicans.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
