Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
