In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
