and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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