now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
