But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
