So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
