That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize