Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
