HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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