About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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