rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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