Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
