She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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