DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
