he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
