Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
