I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
