did you get engaged???
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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