K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Define "chronic" masturbator.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
