Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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