There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize