let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
