then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Someone shattered a urinal.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
