Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
