i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
