well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
