i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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