i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
