does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
