chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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