did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
