What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
