mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
