Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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