office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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