i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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