Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
