i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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