Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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