I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No subtext here. People are naked.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize