FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He did a backflip because drugs
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
