didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
