Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
