I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
