i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
4 words: hood of his car
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
