so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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