Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
