I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
