4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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