I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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