That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize