I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
