i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I bet he comes in French.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
