I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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