holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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