i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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