What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Shame - the story of my life.
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