No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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