R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
