You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize