Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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