Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
