My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
