i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I will be naked everywhere
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i think im in europe. pls send help
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize