it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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