Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
