We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
