yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
