I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is Oprah even human
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
