he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
