Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
