I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
