three words: i give head
three words: not that well
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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